You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
