im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
