lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
