So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
