fuck your aforementioned shoe
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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