Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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