The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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