that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
