He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
