Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
