i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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