is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You are a genius and a whore.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
