We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
