Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The Olympian is in my bed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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