We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
