It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
