Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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