Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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