WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
