Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
