She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
