She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
