So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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