how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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