nut hugger
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
