the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
So. Much. Porn.
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