I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
operation have a gay friend backfired
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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