i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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