and i looked up. we had an audience...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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