wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?