Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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