ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
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I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
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Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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