I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I touched a dick in church today
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
