Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
