Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I touched a dick in church today
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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