Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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