If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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