3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She even gives head with a lisp.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
