you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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