the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
