sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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