doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
