We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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