Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
