ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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