Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
