How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
