singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
