I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
