shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
honey bunches of taint.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize