my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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