Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The Olympian is in my bed
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
