So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
