Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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