how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
