Nicole vs. Life
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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