I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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