Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
