But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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