I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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