like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
